The Walking Dead – Crossed, Episode 507

Oh my god, we’re almost there. JUST GET TO THE DAMN HOSPITAL, ALREADY!

We begin with Gabriel.  What the fuck is going on with Gabriel? He’s worrying about his church still? Yes, Gabriel, they’ll be using the cross if they need it. Because you don’t have a congregation anymore and there are ZOMBIES.

On the other hand, why exactly did they take the whole church apart? They surely didn’t use the organ pipes to beat Dawn’s cops around the head and neck. Maybe the organ pipes will be of crucial importance next episode.

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Poor Carl trying to get Gabriel to cut out his “out, out, damn spot” routine and learn something useful was an exercise in futility. I have no time for Gabriel. I have no idea what the hell he’s up to, sneaking out of that church. Nothing good will come of that damn fool wandering off on his own.

Excuse me, but why the hell would they let Michonne stay at the church to babysit? Who would you rather have backing you up? Michonne or Sasha? Michonne or Sasha AND Tyreese? I would totally have left Sasha and Tyreese home to babysit and taken the ACTUAL badass with me. Also, can we get more than two minutes of Michonne in an episode, please? She’s the queen of the damn apocalypse!

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On to Daryl. My Daryl. One of my all-time favorite characters. And not just because he’s a fine piece of redneck ass.

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Look at my boy Daryl Dixon actually thinking things through and not letting his emotions control him. I love how he and Rick are trading places a bit. Rick has had to go to such a dark place and Daryl is pulling him back. Reminding him that they are the good guys. Being the moral compass. Daryl Dixon as the moral compass? My, how this character has grown.

Plus, Daryl got to hit a cop with a walker head! So gross and kind of hilarious!

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On to the DC Crew.  Or GREATM, as Tara has named them. Tara is awesome. She would totally be my Apocalypse BFF.

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After Eugene’s big confession, which was shocking to NOBODY, Abraham has gone full-on Cameron Frye catatonic. Fucking Abraham. Get down off the cross, we need the wood. Maggie is done with your shit.

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How is it that Maggie has a wardrobe of clothes that fit her so well after all this? Why don’t her jeans ever get saggy in the butt? My husband appreciates them very much, but really. Who can wear jeans that long and have them keep their shape?

The other Greene girl, Beth, is turning into a badass in her own right. She learned well from Daryl. She’s a smart cookie and she’s using that to her advantage with these people.

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I will be very very DISPLEASED if she doesn’t get out alive. There will be a strongly worded letter to the management.

Mid-season finale next week. The prospect of another Walking Dead-less stretch leaves me like this…

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In order to make myself feel better, I leave you with this adorableness. These two scamps…

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