Welcome back, The Walking Dead!

I know you’ll break my heart into teeny tiny pieces at some point this season, so let’s hug now before I want to punch you later.

OK, I freaking LOVE the transition from color to black and white when Rick shoots Porchdick Pete at the end of the “Previously On”. SO WIZARD OF OZ! I adore the use of black and white vs. color to delineate the present and the past. Plus, black and white sure is purty.

So we obviously join our friends well after Rick put a cap in Pete’s….face. With a quarry full of walkers behind them. Wow. A LOT OF WALKERS. Rick is going over some sort of plan. A “get rid of these effing walkers” sort of a plan. While they are talking, one of the trucks holding the walkers into the quarry falls and it’s a walker party to get out of there.

That’s a lot of walkers, dude.

So, dress rehearsal is over and it’s time to take this production to Broadway.

Yeah, this Carter dude needs to stop panicking about how this was supposed to be a dry run before Rick backhands him.

“This was supposed to be a dry run” is the “We were on a break” of this episode.

That herd is amazing. Seriously. The makeup department had so much fun when they weren’t having nervous breakdowns getting ready for this episode.

Back in the black & white shooting aftermath timeline, we have a really lovely (lovely with lots of blood) sequence checking in with everyone after Rick shoots Pete.

We see Deanna sitting on the ground next to a puddle of Reg’s blood. Gabriel wanders up. She tells him he was wrong and he nods. Maybe he will be a slightly less irritating character after this? Maybe? Probably not, but a girl can wish.

Poor Abraham moves Reg’s body and proceeds to get ugly drunk. He pours one out for old Reg.

Poor Reg.

What’s up with Abe? He was a little off last season, but not “getting trashed with a corpse” off. I’m a little worried about our Abraham.

Jessie is sitting at home with her boys, probably in total shock. Her son Ron walks out because he is a mess of teenage hormones and thus will be as stupid as possible for the rest of the episode.

TARA! Awake! Her reaction to Glenn and Nicholas’ arrival was classic.

That’s my girl.

Maggie joins them and freaks when she sees Glenn covered in blood. Glenn tells her he got winged by a ricochet and COVERS FOR WORMY NICHOLAS because he is a precious cupcake who is too sweet for this world.

Eugene and Tara’s reunion made me laugh then want to ugly cry.

NOOOOOAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Carl and Enid have a sweet little hand holding moment and Ron sees. I’m assuming he will now be a dick to Carl which is NOT OK RON.

Back to Rick and Morgan. Rick tells Morgan that he doesn’t take chances anymore, which apparently means that Morgan’s ass is getting locked up overnight. Morgan gets it, but still…

Drunk Abe is killing me. This little moment with Sasha is awesome. The look on her face is freaking priceless. “Peace, you drunk fool.”

 

Back in the present, I give you Daryl Dixon: Walker Wrangler.

Back in black & white, I love seeing Daryl asserting his opinion with Rick when Rick says he wants to stop recruiting. He very gently pushes back at Rick. Like he’s testing the depth of Crazy Lake to see if he’s going to drown if he pushes too hard.

The thought in Daryl’s head: “You mean like us two weeks ago before we got taken in by these people? WTF, Rick?”

Rick goes to spring Morgan from his overnight prison and they have a little moment calling back to their first meeting.

Morgan is a zen master. I love him.

Eugene meets a returning Alexandria team at the gates and their entire interaction is made of awesome. He is hilariously reluctant to let them in at all. When he does let them in, they ask how many are in his group and he says “13…I mean…12”.

NOOOOOAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

And then my favorite moment of the night.

GOD I LOVE EUGENE.

Rick and Morgan run across Gabriel and Tobin digging graves for Reg and Pete. They have a bit of a disagreement about whether or not Porchdick gets to be buried with everyone else or not until Deanna comes along and says “Take it away”. Wow. IT. That’s brutal. Of course, Pete’s son is lurking and hears the whole conversation. Ugh. Child, go home.

Morgan calls Rick on some of his more hipocritical bullshit in a very Morgany way. You don’t bury killers inside the walls? Huh.

Back in the present, Rick, Michone and Morgan arrive at their assigned post along the Walker Wrangling Route. Morgan actually asks Michonne about the protein bar she ate at his apartment back when he was in Crazytown. Her reaction is PRICELESS.

“You always thing there’s one more peanut butter left.” HA!

Morgan and Rick stumble across Walker Quarry when they take Pete’s body out to bury in the woods. Of course, Porchdick Jr. follows them and gets himself attacked by walkers. Rick goes all Alpha Daddy on him, which you just know is not going to end well. The last thing this kid wants is a lecture from the guy who blew his dad’s face off.

Back at the Walker Drive, Glenn, Nicholas and Heath (he of the awesome hair game) are tasked with shutting down a building full of walkers so that they don’t make too much noise and distract the herd. Glenn actually allows Nicholas to help. Nicholas if you harm one hair on that boy’s head, you have no idea the pain that waits you in the form of Maggie Greene.

Family meeting time! Oh Carter. Go put your red shirt on and shut up.

Um, is Maggie preggers? Why else does Glenn want Maggie to stay behind and not join in the Walker Wrangle?

And then Gabriel decides to speak up…

Day-ummmmmm.

Back at the present day Walker Drive, I really feel like they missed a good opportunity for extra noise but not blasting some metal from Sasha and Abe’s car stereo.

Just saying.

Flashback to getting the Walker Wranglin’ Route prepped. Here we go with Rick staring creepily at Jessie.

JUST STOP. EW.

Here’s what I love about Daryl Dixon. He and Rick had a mild little disagreement about recruiting a couple of days ago. You know that Daryl has been chewing it over the whole time. Now he wanders up with a wheelbarrow of dirt, says three sentences and I’ll bet he just changed Rick’s mind.

He is very good at handling that Rick Grimes.

And I don’t mean that in a dirty fan-fiction way.

Then…THEN….The Clash of the Titans.

Translation:
Morgan: “I know you’re not Suzy freaking Homemaker, lady. I know you could kill me with your little finger.”
Carol: “Don’t blow my cover, asshole.”

At the same work party, we have…

Back at Noisy Walker Depot, Nicholas sort of manages to step up and not be completely useless. I still think he’s a worm.

Abe takes off into the woods to redirect some stray walkers. Sasha is a little freaked out by him afterward.

Abe, when you’re making SASHA nervous by how unhinged you are, you might want to take a moment for some self-reflection. Just saying.

A bunch of walkers come at the crew working on getting the Wranglin’ Route set up. Rick throws the Alexandria folk into the deep end by basically just saying, “OK, go kill the walkers now, rookies.”

My question, though, is why is Eric so freaked out by the walkers? Hasn’t he been out with Aaron on recruiting runs? Has he really never had to kill a walker?

Morgan runs in to save the freaked out Alexandrians, followed by Daryl and Michonne. Rick is PISSED. Morgan tells Rick, “You said you don’t take chances anymore.” Don’t think Daryl or Michonne were down with Rick’s training methods, either. I see Rick feeling ganged up on in the near future….

Eugene overhears Carter talking about taking Rick out and gets caught. Because he’s that smooth. Luckily, Rick, Morgan and Daryl show up to save the day. And Daryl, the Rick Grimes Whisperer, keeps rick from blowing Carter’s brains all over the pantry.

Back at the Walker Wrangle, Carter tells Rick he was right and shakes his hand, thus sealing his fate. Poor son of a bitch. Got his face chewed off. And Rick had to kill him to shut him up. I will spare you the gifs of that. It was pretty gross.

Back in black and white times, Morgan and Rick have a little come to Jesus on the front porch and…. Is that a new baby Judith?

 

What’s up with the look on Michonne’s face? How is she feeling about Morgan?

Seriuosly, isn’t that a different kid?

Ah, the Jessie/Rick conversation happens at last. Good for her for not putting up with his shit and for taking her family’s safety into her own hands by asking Rosita to train her. And for telling Rick to back off from her son. OBVIOUSLY, he’s not going to listen to the guy who killed his dad, no matter how much of an asshole his dad was. Catch a clue, Grimes.

I love this little moment between Abe and Sasha.

Do we need to worry about Abe?

And then the Walker Wrangle is just about home free! Daryl and Sasha and Abe are just going to lead them on a little further and we’ll be home free and WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT HORN?????

So, we pour one out for our homey Carter. Sorry, dude.

Next Week on The Walking Dead:

The shit hits the fan and Carol comes in to save the damn day like…

And maybe Daryl will have more to do than this…

Until then, y’all, I’ll be here like…